Let’s take your life and view some amazing possibilities of a different future for yourself.

This blog article is about getting you started with some actionable steps that will alter your perspective on the life you’re living.

Take a few minutes to breathe and take what you need from the life change lessons below.

Life Change Lesson #1: HATE My Life MODE

If you’ve reached a point where you feel like you hate your life or lifestyle, it means that to some degree you’re living in hate mode.

WHAT IS HATE MODE?

Hate mode is a limiting state of mind we build with our thoughts and emotions, creating a self-imposed prison that feels very real. The thing to remember is… It’s not real and realizing this will help you pause and pivot to a more healthy state of mind.

It’s vital for you to get out of hate mode because living there will bring more of the same thoughts and actions. As you exit this negative tunnel, seemingly extraordinary coincidences and opportunities to change your life will increase because you’re entering a new state of mind.

Life Change Lesson #2: ADOPT A NEW STATE OF MIND

When changing your life, it helps to take on a new way of looking at things. A fulfilling outlook will help anchor and support you during your transition to building a business and a different way of life.

Try on one of the life outlooks below or find one that works for you.

PURA VIDA

There’s a saying in Costa Rica that goes, “PURA VIDA,” which means, “Pure Life.” People in Costa Rica use it as relaxed, simple way of looking at life instead of getting stressed. Here’s a video to put you in a PURA VIDA state of mind.

If you think that watching a video to put you in a state of mind may be a temporary fix, you’re absolutely right. And this is why… A state of mind is the psychological state of your cognitive processes at a certain time. It’s the condition or character of your thoughts and feelings and it’s up to you to evoke your own state of mind.

The video above is simply a tool for getting you there. If it resonates with you, then add some other elements of living a simple, back to nature life into your world. Maybe that means adding daily walks or gardening to your day or maybe you can add this as a core part of your coaching business.

Pura Vida is my own state of mind…one that I’ve had for a long time. It also follows me into how I operate my business.

I live a laid back lifestyle in South Florida and I’m part of a traveling family. I also created an online coaching business that helps new coaches build an online business so they can become their own boss and enjoy the freedom and flexibility that comes with it. I not only help coaches develop the right foundation for their business, I’ve built my business structure around the same state of mind in which I live. My life brand has trickled into my business brand…and for me, that’s a good thing.

My approach to building a life you love is that your life always come first. This relaxes my clients and lets them live their lives while we work together. They understand that it’s a step by step process to get there.

For me, Pura Vida permeates my life every day. I used to be a perfectionist and it caused me a lot of stress. Now, anytime I’m feeling stressed, I go back to my center, meditate, and reflect on knowing that this state of mind has served me well. Before I know it, I’m back on track.

NIKSEN

You can choose to adopt the art of doing nothing, or as the Dutch call it, Niksen. It’s a stress reducing practice that focuses on letting yourself simply be, INSTEAD of doing. I embraced this way of life during my time as an orphaned teenager with no parents and no car when my friends were out of town on summer vacation. The practice found me out of necessity as a way to cope and avoid the gut-wrenching disappointment of staying behind.

I’d sit in front of an open window, let the summer breeze waft over me and observe the day or evening. During these moments of stillness, I learned to enjoy my own company. This ease of living has served me well over the years. I often use stillness and solitude as a foundation for living because it brings me peace and a space in which to love myself.

MUSIC: ONE LOVE

Music is a major influence in my life. I can be wired and stressed beyond belief and then a song comes on the radio and in an instant, my stress melts away. That’s because music has a relaxing effect on our bodies. Neuroscience research tells us that music can shift our state of mind.

Let music be your ride into a life vibe that can carry you through anything.

The songs and albums of my youth have stayed with me and have the power to dismantle anything negative I’m feeling. Band on the Run, by Wings, is my all-time favorite album and Silly Love Songs is my favorite song. It has been since I was in sixth grade. What’s your favorite song? What state of mind does it evoke in you?

Let’s say you want to make a change with building your business, but even the smallest steps are really stressful. Try putting on headphones or listening to music as you take your first few actions.

Sometimes you already have an alternate state of mind that you dip into as an escape. Give yourself some quiet time to remember what it is. Once you do, use it to replenish and renew your future.

Life Change Lesson #3: START OBSERVING THE LIFE YOU’RE LIVING

Complete statements one and two. Let’s start with naming the main reason you want to change your life.

Statement One: I want to change my life because__________________ .

If you wrote down someone else’s name, erase it and begin again. Because regardless of what you’ve learned up to this moment, you are in total control of your life, not someone else. And if you think otherwise, then you’ve may have given away your power. You’ll have your power back by the end of this article if you read on and breathe deeply into your true self as we go.

Next, let’s rephrase and turn you into an observer.

Statement Two: I want to change the life I’m living because__________________ .

Why did we rephrase the I statement from exercise one to exercise two?

Because you are not your life. But it sure does feel that way. Rather, a life is something you live. It’s temporary and it’s definitely changeable.

AS YOU BECOME AN OBSERVER YOU’LL UNDERSTAND THAT…YOU ARE NOT YOUR LIFE

Your life is made up of an unlimited, interchangeable mixture of people, situations, places, and things.

If you look back at statement one and two above and say them aloud, you’ll notice number two feels different than number one. This is because the second statement puts you in control of the life you are living.

The words, MY LIFE, no longer apply. Stop saying, MY LIFE. You can say, my foot, my arm, my neck, but not MY LIFE. You are not physically attached to any life.

The better you become at taking on the role of the observer, the more you’ll feel this is true.

This is worth repeating.

Out loud.

It doesn’t matter where you are at this moment.

It doesn’t matter who hears you.

Say it. Mean it. Feel it. Believe it!

Life Change Lesson #4: ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR REALITY

Fill in the blank below to get started on learning how to acknowledge your reality:

Statement Three: Knowing and accepting that life is something movable and outside of myself makes me feel______________________ .

Write down how statement three makes you feel.

The most important takeaway here is for you to acknowledge what you’re feeling as a way to own your current reality and the possibility of changing it.

Get Real With Your Feelings

I’ve listed some examples of acknowledging your feelings below. Your may find that your own feelings are similar or completely different.

Happy

I personally fall under this feeling because once I knew that I could reconfigure a life to live, whenever and however I liked, it gave me a great sense of freedom and control. I learned this when I became an orphan at twelve years old. My grandmother was born in 1905 and went to school until the fourth grade, yet she raised my sister and I in a loving home on less than six hundred dollars a month.

I watched my grandmother reconfigure our lives more than once. Later, I became the first in my family to graduate from college, never dreaming that I would go on to achieve a master of science in psychology at age thirty-nine because I needed to understand human behavior to answer a really big question: Why are so many people unhappy with their lives?

Afraid

Fear comes into play if you’ve grown up believing or have been taught things like, “Life is hard,” or “You have to live with the life you’re given.” Or… “A life is something you’re born with and stuck with until you die.”

Nothing could be further from reality. No one gives you a life. You make your life.

Yes, you are born into a set of circumstances, which may be favorable or not to your taste. It then becomes a choice to change your situation. As a child, this is tough to do, but as an adult you can change your situation. Remember, you are operating with movable parts such as people, places, and things.

Confused

Confusion sets in when the new information you receive feels powerful and overwhelming. At first, it feels too good to be true. Next, you feel pressure because you realize that you are the change agent you’ve been looking for and realize now is the time to move in another direction.

Relieved

Relief is a big one. It means that deep down you already know what I’m talking about and it flies in the face of everything you thought you wanted. And it makes you a little sick that you’ve spent lots of time and resources building a life you thought you wanted…only to discover that when you got it…it feels all wrong.

That’s a huge realization that will propel you toward your next path in life. The most important thing to take away is to trust what you already know that you need to do. Your next step forward is to learn how to become your own change agent.

Life Change Lesson #5: GET A Coach… Or Become Your Own Change Agent

WHAT’S A CHANGE AGENT?

A change agent is someone from outside your situation who provides a different perspective. Nothing is more freeing than being able to accept someone’s help.

Getting the perspective of someone from outside of your life or business can help you gain understanding and perspective with what’s possible.

Here are two ways to gain a different perspective:

#1: One of the first things I do with my clients is to teach them to build a coaching business that fits with their life. For instance, think about what you want your new life to look like instead of only focusing on how to change it.

This step will release a lot of fear, anxiety, and confusion with changing your life and building your business because you’re letting yourself see what’s possible.

#2: Let’s look at some other things that are outside of yourself, like your car, apartment or house, your pet, and your relationships.

What do these things have in common?

You actively chose them. You chose that vehicle, that space, that animal, and those people. With people and animals, it’s mutual, of course. The point is… You also get to choose the life you want to live.

You’ve arrived at the life you’re living through one of two doors.

• One: You chose it.

• Two: Your life evolved into what it is now by default and not through active choice…which means that you were unaware you were making choices by not choosing. To be clear, not choosing is a choice.

In this moment, glance back and view the path behind you. Now, reflect on how you arrived at where you are right now.

Acknowledge it. Learn from it. Then, let it go. Because you’re now aware that you can make purposeful choices which align with the life you want to live.

Life Change Lesson #6: IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU

Make sure your choices about your future are YOU-CENTRIC.

Being YOU-CENTRIC means making choices that put you at the center of the life you’re living.

You are significant, essential, and the master of the life you create.

Isn’t that selfish?

Not at all. As long as you go on to live a life that feels good and fills you up, then you can do anything you want with all that you create in your life, like sharing it, teaching it, or giving it away.

If there are people in your life that you care about, then of course, factor them in. But also keep in mind that they are the star of the life they are living and weighing in on what’s important to them matters.

FEEL THE MAGIC

You’ll know that your life is changing for you when you start to see what’s possible in living color.

As you read my blog, you’ll notice that I refer to magical situations once in a while. And although it can feel like magic when your life begins to change for the better, it’s really you that’s changing.

For me, this knowledge makes me feel free and lets me paint a world that I can make my own.